Midnight Heart
by BleedingHeartsoftheWorldUnite
Summary: Yagari Yuu has fallen for her partner Zero, the only thing is he's hiding something from her. When, and if, she figures it out, will her love last? Or will her past prevent her from what could be her soul mate?
1. Smitten

My heart, it's breaking. Can you feel it? Can you see through my fake smile? Can you sense the pain I feel from seeing you? Can you taste the salt from my tears? Can you hear me calling out your name? Do you even care? I have loved you for years now, and yet you don't know. I thought that we were close, that we were friends. Why can't you see inside me? I feel that I can see through you at least a little bit. Is it that you love another? That maybe I was too late? Am I not worthy of recognition? Please, tell me, ease my hurt, what is it that keeps us apart?

My name is Yagari Yuu, and I'm a professional vampire hunter. My partner is Kiryuu Zero, but it is only because of our master, Yagari Touga. At least, that's how it started. Master had placed us together because of our "common interest", but I knew better. Yes, it was true that we both desired the death of the Kuran family, but we easily could have gone in alone or with a better partner. I knew it was some stupid plan of Cross Kaien, Zero's "father", to play match-maker, but I said nothing, letting him watch his plan fail, or so I thought.

It happened so instantly and so randomly, and yet I remember it perfectly, the day I realized that I was in love with Zero. We where out hunting for clues about the whereabouts of the Kuran clan, and we were ambushed by a massive group of level E vampires, which of course was easily dealt with. However, what we weren't counting on was the fact that they had a master.

"Seesh, these guys need to learn not to deal with us!" I shook my head and looked at him sitting on a boulder, cleaning off his anti-vampire gun.

He merely nodded as he glanced lazily at me, "Duck,"

"Huh?" I turned to look for a duck behind me.

The shot whizzed past my face before I realized he meant for me to duck so he had a clearer shot at the vermin behind me. I gaped at him in shock, surprised that he saved me. He just holstered his gun and glared at me.

"Zero, you saved me?" I finally managed as he stood up.

"You're my partner, aren't you? Besides, its my job to save humanity from those beasts," He said coolly, bitterness etched into his words both by birth and experience.

"Yeah," I was at loss for what to say, even though question after question raced through my mind, "You can be pretty cool, at times,"

He looked at me, or rather passed me, as if remembering something he didn't want to, "We should get back,"

"Wait....I want to know something first. Why....Why do you keep being so distant? We've been together for a long time now, and yet I feel as if I know nothing about you," I didn't expect an answer, but I had to ask anyways.

"Yuu, I.....I'm not.....A person you should worry about," He looked at the setting sun, leaving me with a feeling that he was hiding something.

"But we're partners, so we should trust each other, right?" I walked over to him and put my hand on his shoulder to make him face me.

"Are we? My last parter, she.....Well, you're not like her," He again looked bodily pained, so I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small tin that master gave to me to use in such times and gave him a small, white, unmarked tablet and my canteen.

"Yuu, why do you have these?" He was puzzled, thinking someone had told me something about him that I shouldn't have known.

"Master gave them to me, telling me only to give these to you if you get a pain expression. He wouldn't tell me why though," I mused as he handed my canteen back.

"Thanks," He said it meaningfully, not just fleetingly like one does when given medicine for a migraine.

I sighed and looked at him, seeing the blood-red sun reflecting scarlet off his silver hair, his pale skin bathed in a soft rose-pink light, his eyes soft and thoughtful, not scowling. It was then, in that one moment after that conversation that made me feel protected that I realized it, that I had not just fallen for him, but that I had loved him from the moment I had laid my eyes on him.

"Zero!" I blushed, half hoping that the light would cover it.

"Yuu?" He asked at the sudden way I uttered his name.

I shook my head, glad and disappointed that he didn't see, "It's nothing. We should return, or Kaien will have our heads,"

"Tsk, I still don't get why he lets you call him that," Zero shook his head as we headed back to Cross Academy, our home.

"Yuu, you seem awfully quiet tonight. Something on your mind?" Cross Kaien, legendary ex-vampire hunter and chairman of Cross Academy, asked me as we cooked dinner while Zero finished bathing.

"It's nothing," I shook my head as I set the table for three like I did every night.

He rolled his eyes at me as he finished stirring the vegetable soup and poured it into three separate bowls, "Of course not," He handed me the bowls and when my back was to the door, he pointed in terror, "Zero, where are your clothes!"

I jumped, turned to face the door, and spilt Zero's soup down my front as saw that I had been duped, "Kaien!"

I chased him around the table a few times, my arms outstretched to strangle him, "Yuu, calm down! It was just a joke!"

"Idiots," Zero suddenly appeared, already seated, and muttered into my soup, which I would have given him anyways.

We stopped and sat down, but not without scowling and face-making. Zero was silent and pensive as always as he ate, finishing first and retiring to his room. Kaien and I ate slowly, talking in muted voices after he was gone.

"Why did you do that?!" I pouted childishly.

He smiled at me and patted my head, "Yuu, you came here as a request of your father, didn't you?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I sighed in annoyance and continued, "Yes, and no. I came here because of his request, but we both know it would have ended up like this anyhow,"

"So, you really do want to destroy him then?" Kaien asked seriously, dropping his stupid act.

I looked at him, wondering how he knew, even though it struck me as normal that he did know, "Yes. I knew going in that it was a sham, but I thought that in the end.....Well, the point is that I am going to kill him, and everyone else in his care as well," I clenched the tablecloth, staining the white material blood-red.

"What if it hurts Zero?" He put his hand on my shoulder, "There is something you should know, even if its not my place to tell you,"

"I knew that he was hiding things from me," I frowned, hurt that it was true.

"Once, there was a human girl who went here, Yuuki, and she and Zero became close, but he found out that she really was a pure blood. Being a vampire hunter, he has to kill her, but he let her go out of respect for their friendship. I know he's strong, but I'm not sure he can kill her, but if you do kill her, he'll most likely never forgive you," He smiled weakly, removing his hand.

"Kaien, I'm sorry. Every time a Yagari gets mixed with you, you get hurt, don't you?" I grabbed his hand, "I'm sorry, I can't forget the past, even though I'm caught up with the present,"

"Yuu, I don't blame you," He placed his other hand over my hand.

I looked the door toward Zero's room, "You should. You fought so hard for co-existence, and still do. As a family friend, I feel terrible for wanting to set back your dream, but I just can't let the past go,"

"You can't help what's in your nature," He shook his head dramatically, "I just wish there was another way!"

I snorted, "Kaien, death is inevitable,"

"Yes, it is," He nodded.

I saw where his eyes stopped, and I got up, "Damn you and your hints!"

"Ohh, come on, Yuu, don't be that way," He puffed his cheeks out.

I looked at him sadly, "Then how should I be? Pathetic as it is, being anything else is a lie,"

"Then just tell him and end your suffering!" He pleaded, knowing it was useless.

"Yeah, it could end my suffering, but it could only be the beginning. I love him with all my heart, and he barely acknowledges me. Sure, it could be a ploy, but what if it isn't? What if I spill my guts, and he rejects me? My tears, already enough to drown me, they would be enough to kill me. I love him, and I-"

"Yuu, how can he not like you? You're......." He wasn't sure what to say.

"That undesirable, huh?" I crossed my arms, grinning cockily, as if I were proud about that trait.

"Yuu, you're practically a daughter to me! I can't be saying those kind of taboo things!" He shook his head shamefully.

I chuckled, "I suppose you're right," I suddenly became serious, "But as for Zero, I just can't do it. No, even if I was dying. I'm just too-"

"Scared?" Kaien offered politely.

"I was going to say stubborn, but you're right," I smiled at him even though I was disappointed in myself.

"Yuu, you're too down on yourself," He ended the conversation there to let me think about something besides Zero before I fell asleep.

I was silent as I went to bed. It was kind of him to care, but pointless and a waste of time. Its not like I haven't tried, I have, it's just that I can't think of anything else. Even on the rare occasion that I do manage to think of other things, it always is tied to Zero by the time I fall asleep. And I know that thinking of nothing is not a an option, because the three times that I've went that route, I cried worse than usual, alerting both of them. Not fun.

"Yuu?" Zero called softly, shaking me awake.

I curled myself tighter around my body-length pillow,"Mmmm, grff ouff!"

"Fine, I'll go after them myself," He stood up straight.

I groaned and sat up, "Jerk. Just give me a second, then we can go,"

He sighed and sat on the edge of my bed. I looked at him for a second, considering jumping him, obviously deciding against it, and crawled from the bed, grabbing something random from my open dresser.

"That's not very lady-like, changing in front of me," He commented, staring at the ceiling as I put on a shirt that covered most of my torso.

"I'm not naked, so I see nothing wrong with it. Besides, you don't look," I shrugged, sliding into a pair of pants.

He looked at me side-ways once I was properly zipped and buttoned, "What makes you so sure?"

I scoffed, "For one, there's not a lot to look at, and for another, you're a good guy," I blushed as I thought of the third reason; I watch him watching me.

He was silent as I put on my boots. He remained speechless as we grabbed our weapons before heading out. Kaien was busy with his own work, like normal, so he wasn't there to see us off. Shockingly, on the other hand, our master was waiting for us.

"Yagari-shisho?" Zero asked, only mildly off-put to see the man who trained us.

"Zero, Yuu. I see you're both ready to go, however, the situation has changed," He looked more at Zero than at me, but I was used to that.

Zero looked back at me, aware of how I hated being ignored by shisho, not knowing why though, "Shisho, what do you want? Yuu and I are very busy,"

I smiled, glad he stood up for me like that. Shisho acted like Zero hadn't said that and continued, "The beasts are having a party to promote inter-species cooperation. Cross has requested our presence,"

"And you agreed?" I raised my eyebrow, surprised that he was being so calm about the current situation.

"It's a good opportunity to get valuable information," He shrugged, "Oh, but it's a formal event," He looked at me and threw me a box that was hidden behind the door.

I took it and smiled gratefully, "Thanks,"

He just nodded, "See you later,"

Zero slammed the door shut, "Dammit! Why do they always do this to me?"

I set the box down and put my hand gently on his shoulder, whispering in a comforting way, "I'm not sure what you mean exactly, but I'm here with you. These creatures hold these events to prove they have a shred of humanity, but its all a lie, not only to others, but to themselves,"

He looked at me, really taking me in, "Yuu...You, have a way with words,"

I frowned, tightening my grip on him for the briefest second, "You always do that. You go to say something, but you don't say it right. Why?"

"It's not you, know that," He looked down, speaking again after I turned away, "Do you think that humanity is your choice?"

"You mean like if you were bitten and turned, but refused to become a vampire?" I said the word without realizing how venomously, "I say that it's impossible. No one is that strong,"

"So, to you once bitten your a beast like the rest of them?" He asked to clarify my point.

I nodded, "Yes,"

He looked down and handed me the box, "Here, you should change,"

I took it from him, feeling closer to him, and yet miserable at the same time, as if I had made him suffer, "Yeah, I guess I'll see you again later,"

Hours later, after I had stuffed myself into the dress shisho had given me and Kaien had practically ripped my head bald, it was time for us to go. I envied Zero, only having to wear something simple, which would probably be his old uniform. Regardless of the pain it took to get us to this point, Zero stood waiting for me by the door.

He gaped at me in amazement, "Wow, you look....."

"Yes?" I whispered, not believing where this was going.

He cleared his throat, "More like a girl,"

"Oh," I sighed, "You look nice too,"

"Oh, for heaven's sakes woman, he's in his high school uniform!" Kaien snapped, "And as for you, look at her, she's radiant!"

I blushed, "Shut up,"

"No, he's right. You do make a beautiful woman, Yuu," Zero walked over to me and offered me his arm, "Orders,"

I nodded my tightly wound hair, shaking a stray curl from my face, "I wonder what'll kill me first?"

They just looked at me. I shrugged and grabbed Zero's hand, dragging him to our destination to get this over with. He had a very inconsistent pace as we went, sometimes leading, sometimes trailing eons behind me. For as much I thought about it, no answer came to me to explain his strange behavior.

We arrived at a grand ball, decorated white and black, silver and gold, little rubies here and there. I had to admit, the leeches did a good job decorating even if their coldness shone through spectacularly at every turn. I was quickly one of the most looked at guests, however that was soon mended, because luckily that's one of the perks of having Zero by your side; absolute peace and solitude.

******

Everything was going good, well, as good as an event with "former" mortal enemies can go, when suddenly, out of nowhere, Zero started to act stranger than normal. He was less hostile, but that wasn't too out of the usual, considering our mission. Then he started to hold his head, like it would split in two as soon as he stopped trying to force his head to stay together. I gave him some of those tablets, but they absolutely nothing. He ran out when he thought I wasn't looking, even though he mumbled some weak excuse about the bathroom. Worried, I chased after him.

"Zero, what happened?! You just ran out of there without any explanation! I was worried about you! Zero, are you alright?" I walked around his back to face him, scared for him.

"Yuu, leave me alone!" He shouted, stopping me with a blindly outstretched arm.

I walked around and looked at him, seeing his tattoo glowing red and his eyes stained the color of blood. I covered my mouth, horrified to discover what he had been keeping from me.

"Yuu....." He hung his head.

"Zero...? You mean that this whole time, you've been...a....vampire? No, this isn't right! You can't be a vampire, you just can't be! Zero, please, tell me its not true!" I clutched my hands together, tears sliding down my cheeks.

"It's true," He slid closer, his thirst for blood over-powering his will bit-by-bit.

"A vampire killed my mother, did you know that? My father saved her log enough for her to lose herself and become a level e, but not before she almost killed me. Ever since that day, my father has refused to let me acknowledge him as such, because he still blames himself and doesn't think that he's worthy of that title," I told him, not sure why the words just came out like they did.

He was silent as he held his head, struggling to stop himself from attacking me. I wanted to help him, but my distrust of what he was coupled with the fact that this was his battle prevented me from moving. Standing there, waiting to see what he did was one of the most horrifying moments of my life so far.

"Yuu," He coughed out my name before grabbing me and throwing to the ground like a rag doll.

He pinned me down with a single hand while his other appendage removed my necklace. I tried to get free, but was unable to against his supernatural strength. I wanted to cry out, but I knew that would only make matters worse for me.

His fangs pierced my neck, a slight burning tickling my throat as the blood rushed between us. I heard my gushing blood as he drank on, and I really thought that I was going to die.

"I love you," I whispered, afraid that I was dying and that if I didn't say it now, he'd never know.

What ever my words triggered inside him, Zero stopped. He looked at me, not moving an inch. We just stared at each other, breathing slowly, afraid to move should the action cause another vampiric attack.

I blinked and turned my head so I was looking at him fully, not from the side, "I-"

He released me but stayed on top of me, "Yuu, I'm a monster. I'm not fit to love anyone,"

I wanted to tell him that I did love him, but my own fear and hatred for what he was prevented me from doing so. All I could do was shake my head without looking at him and curl my fingers around his wrists unseeingly.

"Zero, what have you done?" Kaien came running to us, pulling me from under Zero.

"No," I shook my head more fiercely to hide my tears.

Kaien wrapped his arm around me, "Yuu, it's alright. She's not going to hurt you. Shh, you're safe now. Your mother's not going to harm you anymore,"

Zero looked at us in cold realization, obviously concluding that I was flashing back to the time when my mother attacked me and that what I told him wasn't meant for his ears. But he's wrong, I did mean it for him. That is, before I found out he was a vampire.

* * *

Author's notes:

Shishou is the Japanese word for master.

OK, this is my first Vampire Knight fic, and just so you know, the information I have collected is purely from the anime, most of it at least. What I mean to say is that I have watched both Vampire Knight and Vampire Knight: Guilty to the end, though I am still reading the manga. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this first chapter!


	2. Shaken

I laid face-down on my bed, drained both physically and emotionally after the ball last night. I had been this way ever since returning home, confined in my room without a word, nay, barely a thought. It hurt too much to think, filling me with uncertainty about the one I most loved and leading me to tears as a result. More blood had been taken then I had originally thought, so I was weaker than estimated, or maybe it was just my now feeble will. I wasn't sure what it was, but either way, I wanted to numb it all. My pain, my doubts, my fears. I wanted to go back to loving him unconditionally like before.

"Yuu?" There was a soft tap on the door and Kaien came in, carrying a trey of soup for us to share.

I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees, "Zero's not here anymore, is he?"

He sat the soup on the floor next to the bed and sat next to me, holding me in his arms like a father would his daughter, "Zero never came back,"

I dropped my head on his shoulder, "It hurts,"

"Your neck?" He asked, turning to look at me without disturbing me.

"No, not that much. I mean Zero. I told him that I loved him, and he left," I rasped, my throat dry from all of my tears.

He shook his head, "He left to protect you, not becuase he hates you,"

I frowned, "That's not what I mean. I mean, I'm upset that he's not here, but part of me is glad. I'm not sure what I feel anymore. I mean, part of me still cares for him, but now that I know that's one of them......" I trailed off.

"Yuu, that's normal after what you went through with your mother," He patted my head comfortingly.

I shrugged him off, "That's not right. I do hate vampires because of that, but I've made my peace with that situation. I'm confused because I hate what he is, but I love who he is, and I'm more mad that he didn't tell me from the beginning than anything, at least, I think that's my problem,"

"You're quite the woman, you know that? When you lost your mother, we all though that you'd lose it, but you proved yourself to be stronger and more capable than all of us. After your father snubbed you to protect you, I honestly thought that you would take it the wrong way and grow to hate him, but you love him more than ever because you understand what he did and why he did it. And after the incident.....Oh, so that's why you hate him, isn't it?" He grew more serious by the word, causing me to awaken from my slump.

"What did you say?" I panicked, afraid that that nearly secret incident had one more person in its deadly clutches.

"You heard me. You fell for him, didn't you?" He asked like a normal parent would have asked.

I lowered my head in shame, "Yes. I fell in love with with him, and I thought it was mutual, but it wasn't,"

"That's normal, especially for someone in our line of work," He nodded, knowing from personal experience.

"But is it normal to happen twice? Love, I mean, not the vampire bit," I looked at him for answers.

He sighed, "Depends on the type of love. True, everlasting love is once-in-a-lifetime thing. I believe that Zero could be that person, if only you can get past your insecurities,"

An idea hit me, "Would it be wrong to try both at once?"

"That is for you to find out," With that the conversation was done and he gave me my bowl of now cold soup.

*********

_Zero_

*********

How could I have been so stupid?! First Yuuki then Yuu. I just can't be trusted around girls, can I? I misread the situation and I lose a close friend and valuable partner. Yuu didn't deserve being lied to like that, I was so block-headed for thinking that! She should have known, she needed to know.

"Kiryuu," Yagari Touga walked up to the tree I was slouching under, his arms firmly crossed and a we-need-to-talk scowl across his face.

"Shisho," I nodded, acknowledging him and his lecture.

"You really messed up this one, kid," He shrugged and sat to me, keeping his distance and weapon ready should I attack like the monster that I am.

I hit my head against the tree, causing it more harm than me, "I know,"

"I'm not the type to lecture on personal matters, especially matters involving women and feelings, but I have to," The western-looking vampire hunter looked worse than I had ever seen him before, so serious was his expression.

"I really do care for her," I couldn't help but say, the feeling being pent up for years without any worded acknowledgement.

The older man nodded with a knowing sigh, "She's special, that girl, so take care of her unlike her old man did,"

I looked at him in great shock, "Yuu's your daughter?!"

"Her name's Yagari," He looked at me, amazed that I never knew that before.

"Shisho, will she forgive me?" I asked the one person who knew her the best.

He blinked at me, "For being vermin, possibly. For lying, who knows? I'll never understand women,"

********

********

I set the empty soup bowl down, looking at my ragged appearance in the glass picture fame above my bed. I wished the picture frame was empty, because then I wouldn't have to fight with looking between myself now and myself with Zero, beaming without a thought on how damn difficult my life was going to become. I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I ran my fingers down smooth black stands of hair that desperately needed to be washed. The dress I was wearing was crumpled and wrinkled on my body but still looked nice for the most part.

"Zero, I promise that things will be fine between us, no matter what it takes," I smiled sadly, running my finger across his picture as I got out of bed.

*******

I sat in the bathroom after my shower, wrapped up in my towel still, looking out the open window at the sunny and blissful day. I knew that I should have finished getting dressed, but the warm sun was lulling me to sleep. The warm rays tingled on my skin where they instantly dried me.

"Yuu?" I heard my name being called softly.

I thought I was dreaming, so I answered back in still a gentler tone than the voice, "Yes?"

Next thing I knew, Zero was sitting in the open window, staring at my almost naked body. He quickly covered his face, but not before I woke up and ran into the next room. I slid down the back of the door, blushing and scared of my predicament. On one hand, I wanted to forgive Zero and possibly move on with him, but on the other, it was just too soon. I know that only moments ago I was ready to face him, but now that I actually am at that point, I can't do it, not yet.

"Yuu? Are you alright?" Zero asked softly from the other side of the door.

I turned my face toward the door, crystal diamonds sliding down my cheeks silently, "Please leave,"

"Yuu, you're crying," He said as a refusal.

I shook my head even though it was a pointless gesture, "Just go,"

"I need to talk to you," He slid his hand under the door and left a letter behind.

I looked at the letter but didn't touch it, "I'm not ready,"

"That's what the letter is for," He explained coolly, as if we were face-to-face, joking around as friends without a single problem between us.

"I want to hear you say it to my face," I pushed the letter back to him, "Later. Can you do that for me?"

He was silent as he took the letter back, "I promise that I'll be here every second of every day until you're ready to talk,"

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, "I'm not as strong as that, as you. I'm weak, and frail, and mortal,"

"Mortality, what an under-appreciated gift," Zero muttered to himself.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and crawled back to my room on all fours like the cowardly dog that I am, "I'm so sorry,"

************

I lay on my bed, unmoving in my towel, barely breathing between my wet outbursts. I felt so scared, so alone, even though I had no reason to be. I was terrified, afraid of every sound and every shadow. Humph, some hunter I am, quaking in fear at the slightest hint of motion.

"Yuu," Shisho called through the door as a way to tell me that he was entering the room.

I didn't move as he closed the door behind himself, didn't blink as he sat on the edge of the bed next to me. He merely looked at me for a second, gauging my current state. Obviously he decided I was well enough, because he he sighed in an "you're-about-to-get-an-earful" kind of way. I looked at him wordlessly, curious as to what he was going to say.

"I'm not going to pretend I'm not pissed, because I am. You're stronger than this, and we both know it. You did great with your mom's death, and I remember how close you two were. You handled you first heartache better than a veteran could after fifty years. You've forgiven me for abandoning you, and I still can't forgive myself for that," He shook his head as if in denial.

I moved my head from the flat bed to his leg, "Papa, I have nothing that I need to pardon you for, and never have. I know that you loved mama, so it was extremely hard for you to have to kill her. I understand, I underwent that same torture with him. I loved him, even though he was scum that needed to be killed, a vampire. I spared his life for my love, but it was killing me in so many ways, so I had to choose between him and myself. But he made it easy on me, he told me that he was just toying with me, that I was merely food for the taking. He told me that I was stupid little girl that needs to grow up,"

"I never knew what happened between the two of you, but I figured as much. You fell in love with him, he broke your heart, and as a woman scorned, you begrudge all vampires," He summed it up perfectly.

"So what scares me is not the fact that Zero is a monster, but the idea that he'll break my heart!" I sprung up happily, my funk over.

"I'm not saying that-" He grimaced as I hugged him merrily.

"Thank you, father, thank you!" I beamed.

He nodded his head and got up, "Get dressed, would you?"

I blinked and looked down. I was still in my towel. Oops.

I grinned cheekily and chuckled to hide my embarrassment, "If you hurry and leave,"

He rolled his eyes as he departed, "I knew leaving you with that man was a mistake,"

*************

_"K"_

*************

Yuu......Are you safe? Are you happy? Are you alright after what I did to you then? After all this time, do you still remember me? Am I the man you knew well enough to fall in love with? Or am I the monster that you need to kill, the one that hurt you? Yuu, as long as it's by your hand, I'll take any punishment lifetimes over, even though I deserve far worse.

"Mourning over her again?" Yuuki Kuran asked about the woman she's never met yet knew very well.

I frowned, hating to be like this and hating even more to talk about her like so, "Don't,"

She agreed instantly, fearing my tone and meaning no ill will, "My apologies,"

I pardoned her, too distracted by my sorrow, "Just don't do it again,"

Strong a vampire as I am, I'm too weak to handle the pain I feel from losing Yuu, even if it was by my doing. I loved her then, and I love her now. I will still love her after this cursed land has been dealt its final fate, after I lose my very soul and reason. I am forever bound to Yuu Yagari by my heart alone, and I wouldn't change that for the world, no matter what it causes me.

**********

I looked out a window at the moon, watching it shine brightly on a pair of lovers. They both looked so young and seemed to have the world before them. They embraced tightly as they sat under a sakura tree, shadowed from the moon's bleaching rays. He handed the woman a fallen sakura blossom, pinning it behind her ear, whispering some rubbish about how he much he loved her and how everything around them paled in comparison to her beauty. She smiled and kissed him, pulling him slowly closer.

"Peeping?" Aidou Hanabusa joked, walking up behind me from his meal.

I looked back at him from the couch I was stretched across, "I wouldn't do something so lewd,"

He stalked around the couch to face me, "Why don't you get her back?"

I was silent for a moment, "Because I'm no good for her,"

"Since when? You're the perfect guy! Anyone'd be lucky to have ya," He shook his head.

I sighed and pulled the worn velet box from my pocket and stared at it thoughtfully, "She's the only one I want,"

He plopped down, shoulders slumped in defeat, "Have it your way,"

I didn't look back at him as he left, I was too busy staring at the black box in my hand. The silver band inside was inscribed specially for Yuu, denoting my love for her. The ring was an engagement ring, free of jewels and outside markings. I had gotten it the very same day I had intended to give it, the very same day that I had to break Yuu's heart.

"Yuu, I want so badly to make you mine forever," I muttered to myself before continuing, "I want to see you, to know how badly I hurt you, but I'm too afraid. Afraid that you moved on, that you died, that you would forgive me,"

Ruka sighed behind me and left without a word, though I know what she was thinking as she watched me torture myself over my own sacrifice. She would tell me that if I was not going to stop, that I should at least try to hide my pain. She'd remind me that I was a man, and men need to be strong and not show their pain to anyone. She's right.

*********

_Yuu_

*********

I hastily dressed, caring even less than usual about how I looked as I sped to meet Zero and talk to him. I was so excited, so happy, so relieved, I felt as if something was horribly wrong, but I pushed the feeling back in my mind, dubbing it as fear of abandonment.

* * *

I'm so sorry it took so long!! I never meant to take that long of a break, but here we are. Also, I have changed my mind about an editor, mainly due to not understanding how to do it, but also because I have a rather strange schedule. I am sorry, so if anyone is upset, please forgive me! Shishou means master, just in case anyone forgot.


	3. It's a Simple Story

Years ago now, I, Yagari Yuu, was sitting before the chairman of the vampire hunting Association. I was impatient to prove myself then, a rookie on my first solo job. A job that would effect me for the rest of my life...A job that changed me deep inside. I fell in love. And I had my heart broken. It would be my last job for a very long time...

"Yagari Yuu, we have reviewed your records and have found you most fit to lead this mission," The Chairman of the Hunters' Association smiled at me from behind his fan, sliding me the paperwork from across his desk.

I took it cockily, sure that I would finish this job with flying colors and earn instant respect from my father and peers, "I won't let you down sir!"

He chuckled from deep in his throat, "I expect that much from _his_ daughter,"

I was troubled by the way he said that, but I ignored it as one of his...charms, "I won't let either of you down,"

"No." He shook his head, "You're dismissed," He waved me out with his fan-hand.

I bowed my head respectfully and departed, eager to begin my first mission.

_...Later..._

I sat on a park bench late one night, tired on the verge of grogginess after another failed attempt at tracking down the filth that was my target. It was very late, well after midnight, so I was surprised to see someone else outside. It looked like a boy around my own age. An exceptionally handsome boy with shocking orange hair and captivating brown eyes. I thought I might have been hallucinating him, but I wasn't, because instead of vanishing after a hard look, he sat next to me on the marble-like bench.

"Hello," He said, looking extremely uncomfortable with talking to me.

I wondered what possessed him?

"Hi," I waved in a small and uncertain arc.

He was so...I dunno, but there was _something_ about him.

"Kain Akatsuki, you?" He introduced himself as politely as possible.

Something about him was strange. He was oddly fascinating, and he completely caught me off guard. I was drawn to him like a moth to the flame, but I just don't understand what it was that was so alluring about him. I was determined to get to the bottom of it, no matter how long it took. He was too beautiful to be human, whatever he was.

"Yagrai Yuu," I whispered gently, my voice fighting a desperately loosing battle against whatever spell he was putting on me.

He looked slightly alarmed at first hearing my name, but he quickly recovered, "Interesting. May I ask why you're out here so late...alone?"

"Who said I'm alone?" I tilted my head, coyly trying to bluff him out. Horribly failing.

He looked around, "You seem like it. There are many dangers lurking about right now, so you should hurry home like a good little girl,"

He clearly didn't like the air. I could sense something evil nearby, but he was just too damn appealing to focus on much else. But he really was beginning to piss me off with that aristocratic attitude of his!

I crossed my arms, refusing to budge, "Then why are you out here by yourself?"

I had to fight to stop from calling him a pretty-boy.

He chuckled, finding it strange to have to explain something like that, "I can take care of myself, besides I should have a cousin nearby,"

"You think I can't defend myself? Mmm, you must be a bit behind the times," I was so used to living among hunters, I was greatly amused to find somebody who thought that I needed protection.

"I'm not saying you're weak, I'm saying that the things roaming about are too strong for an ordinary person," He warned me, obviously taking himself by surprise with his abundant concern.

"What are you saying?" If vampires were not taboo among the public, I would have asked him outright, but being as it was, I had no choice but to allude to my point.

"Vampires," He said it so plainly, the term momentarily lost its glamour.

"How do you know about that?" I asked, still oblivious to the fact that Kain Akatsuki _was_ a vampire.

He smirked, "Because I am one,"

How could I have missed that? I mean, all the signs were there! Good-looking, arrogant...Geez, I must really be tired.

I just about fainted when he told me that, showing me his fangs and blood-red eyes as proof, "You're my enemy...?"

He nodded, "Yes, little hunter-girl, though I have no such intention of fighting you,"

"Hey, I'm not a little girl!" I pointed at him crossly.

"Oh?" He looked at me again, but with amusement this time.

Ok, so maybe I was a bit small around the chest area, but I am not a little girl in any means! Just as I was about to give the leech a piece of my mind, he pushed me over the bench and into the bushes, accidentally copping a feel at the same time. I would have shouted at him for the sudden outburst, but he was hidden by my side, his hand over my mouth as we watched a group of vampires in sweeping hooded cloaks greet each other.

"What are you doing?" I hissed, trying to ply him off.

"Saving you. These are no ordinary vampires," He whispered into my ear.

I glared between him and them, wondering why he was so afraid of them, "Pure bloods?"

He shook his head, "No, ancients,"

"I don't see what's so scary about them," I whispered boldly, my voice low regardless.

"If they find you, you're as good as dead," He again was shocked by the way he was treating me.

"Akatsuki! Akutsuki!" A disembodied voice shouted for the vampire shielding my life.

"Stupid Aidou," He growled over his shoulder.

The other vampires, the ancients as he called them, looked around in a panic, searching for the intruder. They hissed when a bubbly blonde vampire burst from another bush. He smiled brightly as if he had not interrupted a secret gathering.

"Hell~o! Has anyone seen a fellow about yea high," He rose his hand slightly above his head, "With red hair?"

"A friend of yours?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Unfortunately, he's my cousin," He sighed with mild and playful disgust.

The gathered creatures looked around the area for a second before one of the shortest members stood forward, "Aidou, he's not here,"

"Ohh, that's too-" He stopped speaking abruptly and started sniffing the air.

I was about to ask what had set them all off, but I quickly realized that it was me. I guess that I had got cut when I was pushed into the bushes. I only noticed when I saw Kain Akatsuki's eyes turn bright red and a small streak of red on my hand as I waved it in front of his face.

"Crap," Sure as I was about my skill, I knew this group was far too big for me to fight and win.

"Found you," The blonde, Aidou, appeared behind me.

"Aidou, she's mine," He growled deep in his throat as he stood up with me clutched tightly to him like a hostage to a captor.

"What? Let go of me!" I struggled against him uselessly, like a fly trying to move a statue.

"Playing with your food? How unlike you," The vampire who spoke earlier said drolly, the group surrounding us in the blink of an eye.

"Food? What do you mean food?" I gasped, trying to push my way out of my predicament.

He was silent as everyone settled down, "I figured I should give it a try. I see no point in denying my nature,"

"By all means, take your time," The midget among giants spoke jovially, turning away with his colleges into the fathomless shadows, "I'll see you at home boys!"

Aidou looked between us after the others were gone, trying to see what it was that his cousin saw in me, "Out of all the women in this city, you chose the homeliest one possible,"

"Homely? I'll give you homely, you prick!" I started swinging my free appendages at him.

"A fiery one, this human," He backed away mockingly, "Well, you can deal with her on your own. I'm going on home,"

He was gone in a flash. Akatsuki and I looked at each other, but he didn't release me yet.

"Ok, you can let me go now," I said once his cousin was gone.

He just stood there, "Sorry about this,"

"Wha-"

I woke up to the sun burning my eyes and my head hurt and I was roasting under about ten layers of blankets, "What the hell?"

"I'm sorry," Kain Akatsuki looked at me from beside the window. I would come to find him under that window every single time I awoke...

It looked like he had watched over me all night. But maybe he was always scraggly-looking? Bah, what do I care!

Immediately, I feared that I had been kidnapped for either food or ransom, "You won't get much from me,"

He looked at me for second before bursting out in hearty laughter, "I'm not kidnapping you!"

"You're not? Then what am I doing here?" I looked around the room again, taking in its splendidly simple decor.

It looked like a bell tower that had been remodeled into a bedroom. It was actually kind of cute, if you ignored the tattletale signs of vermin infestation.

"I just brought you here because I thought you had no place to stay," He explained calmly, still laughing on the inside.

"Then why did you knock me out?" I pointed accusingly at him like a witness at a criminal during a trial.

He said as more of a statement than a question, "Would you listen to me after what happened?"

"Probably not. But I could have a place to stay!" I added quickly in an attempt to save face.

"Do you?" He asked interestedly, as if I were some kind of new creature in a lab.

"No," I admitted sheepishly.

"I thought not. Well, if you agree to keep yourself behaved, you're more than welcome to stay here," He offered as if he truly wanted me to accept.

I looked at him as if he were crazy, "You do realize that I'm a vampire hunter, right?"

A human staying with a vampire? Without being food? That was a new one.

He sighed, "Is it so strange to be respectful of a woman? Human or vampire, you pose me no threat. Besides, you may have to kill someone I want dead,"

I thought back to my hero and family friend, Cross Kaien, and how he wanted peace among the species, "I suppose I could give it a try,"

"So you'll stay?" He asked to be sure of my answer.

I nodded hesitantly, "As sure as I can be,"

"Fair enough. So, may I call you Yagari?" He asked considerately.

I nodded, seeing no problem with that under the circumstances, "Ok, Kain,"

"You're kinder than most other hunters," He observed generally.

I had no ill will against vampires, just habits and mannerisms learned throughout my life. Rude mannerisms, much too close to a form of a racism.

"Not to my prey," I corrected.

He smirked, "We'll have to see about that one,"

"Jerk. You don't even know me, yet you keep judging me!" I shook my head in frustration.

"I only speak what I see to be true," He looked at me thoughtfully, no doubt making a ruder judgement in his mind.

"So, Kain, do you live with your cousin?" I changed the subject, unable to make up a good comeback.

"Yeah," He frowned, "You're lucky you get your own room,"

I raised my eyebrow at him skeptically, "You share a room with your cousin? I thought that vampires were rich,"

"The nobles are," He agreed.

"Aren't you a noble?" I felt bad for assuming something, even though he has been making nothing but assumptions about me.

"I am, but besides the fact that I'm close with my cousin, we don't trust the rest of the family," He quickly darkened.

"Sorry, I shouldn't pry," Amazingly, talking to this strange vampire was easier than talking to my own father.

"It's fine. Actually, it's nice to have someone besides my cousin to talk to," He smiled slightly.

"I'd imagine it would be. All I have is my father," I explained, divulging not because I felt obligated to, but because I wanted to.

This vampire, no, this man was so strange and easy to talk to. He fascinated me to no end. Had I the free time to spend, I gladly would have wasted it just conversing with Akatsuki, getting to know him better. Ok, I did that anyways, but it would be much worse if I had nothing but down time.

On my second day at Akatsuki's, I thought that it would be prudent to get to know my host. Only a fool would blindly accept such kindness. We spoke next at dinner, when his family was out, leaving us free to go about the house.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I asked curiously, cutting a bloody stake with a pearly knife.

He watched the blood dripping out for a moment, averting his eyes back to me, "I'll enjoy my meal once you retire for the night. I don't want to waste our crossing hours,"

I nodded, taking a bite. Yummy! The best stake I've ever tasted! He could see I was thrilled, and he was happy to know, uncertain of how to feed a human. It was interesting, being the first human to be in his company. We both slept at practically opposite times by nature, but we came to a compromise on the first night; I wake around noon and sleep before sunrise, and he sleeps just a little longer and stays awake until...Well, I'm not sure when he goes to bed. He ordered human food for me and has it prepared for me and brought to my room, to prevent meeting with his family that would eat me, and he feeds after I go to bed, apparently.

"'Our'? A bit presumptuous, no?" I teased him, because he was so polite and it was terribly fun.

He frowned, a retort already on his lips, "I only meant it as a grouping-"

"Uh-huh, sure you did," I smirked, patting his hand, "I just like messing with you."

He was actually smiling back, "Aidou was right when he called you a firecracker,"

He wasn't being a smartass when he said that. I could see that he really did mean it in the best possible way. He really wasn't such a bad guy, no, not at all bad.

"Well, you're not so bad either. Maybe like a hiccup of fire and smoldering smoke?" I chuckled, "Or a hidden volcano ready to burst with passion and inner light."

After about three or four weeks of no luck with my target, I began to suspect that I forgot who my target was or even what he looked like. But oddly, I was fine with that, because it gave me the excuse to spend more time with my gracious host. I never saw any of his family, besides Aidou, but I had the feeling that they all hated me, hated the fact that Akatsuki was defending me and spending so much time with me. A human. But it ceased to worry me as soon as I saw him. In fact, everything ceased to trouble me when I saw him. He really lit up the room with his extraordinary personality.

"Yuu, what are you thinking right now?" He asked as I bordely re-braided my hair for the twentith time that day.

"Nothing really. I was just wondering how my father was, how the Association is," I stopped braiding my hair and smiled at him without realizing it. I noticed that I've been doing that alot.

"Is it really just you and your father? You don't have a boyfriend or anything?" He asked curiously, possibly with alterrior motives.

I laughed, "Me? With my busy schedule and mosquito bites?"

"Busy schedule? You laze around here most of the time," He laughed with me.

"Well, I normally am very busy!" I snapped half-heartedly.

"Could have fooled me. So what prey tell are you doing most of the time?" He crossed his legs on the floor across from me.

"I work, finish my father's paperwork, I cook dinner, I clean, and I train," I summed it up.

"Wow," He was amazed with how much I did in a day. His eyes seemed to ask if any human could all of that in a day.

"You know, that's not everyday, and there are people who do more than I do," I informed him partly for shock-value.

He nodded, "Yeah, but they usually are very ragged and don't look half as good as you do."

I blushed at the compliment.

"Why do you do that? Sit so far from me? I'm not the vampire, remember?" I scooted over so he had enough personal space on the bed with me if he chose to move.

"I don't want to do something we'll both regret," He shook his head firmly.

"Like what? Bite me?" I scoffed, knowing it wouldn't be so bad, considering that only pure bloods could change a human.

"Honestly?" He looked at me seriously.

"That would be nice," I nodded, not even half-joking for once.

"I'm afraid that I'll ruin our friendship," He admitted reluctantly.

"You wanna kiss me?" I asked in amazement, my own mind thinking about it more than from time-to-time.

"I don't want to ruin our friendship," He repeated.

I ignored him and blushed deeper, "I want to kiss you,"

"Don't tell me that," He pleaded.

He really did care for me, but being a girl of a certain age, I couldn't help but think of more physical ways to express our feelings. I wasn't that kind of girl, but no one had ever made me feel this way before. Safe and secure. Loved.

"Why? Why shouldn't we do this? It's consensual," I was being dragged toward him as if by a magnet.

"Yuu, stop, please, I don't want to hurt you," He begged, truly worried about harming me. It would be cute and sweet and romantic if it wasn't so annoying.

God, what was I becoming?

"You'll hurt me worse if you refuse," I said honestly, "But I don't want to pressure you into anything, so this can wait for a better moment,"

He shook his head and grabbed me in his arms, defeated by me just being a girl, "We don't have to wait for a better moment than this,"

"Aka," I blushed, our lips meeting sweetly in my first ever kiss.

"Yuu," He kissed me again softly.

Automatically our most primal natures came out, well beyond either of our control. His kisses became harder and more urgent, and I clutched him tightly, trying to pull him closer. Suddenly, just before anything drastic could occur, we snapped back to ourselves as if a bucket of ice had been dumped over our heads.

"Sorry, I don't want to move too fast," I moved my head so that I could look at him without being in immediate reach of his mouth.

"I understand," He wrapped his arms around my body and just held me, softly kissing me on the cheek and jaw every now and again.

Later that night, before I retired to bed, Aidou came in to talk to me. That surprised me more than it scared me. Strange how this week was changing me so much. I not only make my first love a vampire, but I share my first kiss with one as well. And now, more before the kiss really, I don't fear Akatsuki or his cousin. In fact, I liked him more than I should...

"Yagari," Aidou announced curtly before entering my room.

I looked at him, just barely in my borrowed sleep attire, which was really an old shirt of Akatsuki's, "Hanabusa,"

"I want to make sure you're really who you say you are. My cousin has really fallen for you, though he won't admit it," He crossed his arms to see what I'd do.

"Really? I like him too," I admitted earnestly.

"You're not here to harm him, are you? Play with him until he's at his weakest before you kill him?" He got right to the point, which I could tell was unusual for him.

"I would never operate like that. I'm very straightforward with my work," I shook my head.

"I'll believe you, only because Akatsuki does," He had more to say, but decided against it.

"I don't want to hurt him, becuase, I think I might love him," As I said it, I realized it was the truth.

I had really fallen for him and never wanted to part from him ever again.

"What would you do then if they asked you to kill him?" He asked to see if I was lying or not.

"I'm not sure, but I wouldn't harm him, or you," I knew that harming his cousin would harm him, so I refused to harm either one.

"If that's the truth, I'll gladly accept you, if not, I curse you and promise that you'll never rest," With that said, he left.

The next day, I woke up from a deep and dreamless sleep. It was pleasant outside, a cloudy day promising lots of rain. I was happy to see that, but I was happier to see Akatsuki, to tell him what I told his cousin. I can't wait, I have to tell him now!

It seems I wasn't the only one who needed to talk, becuase I found Akatsuki sitting where he normally sits, waiting for me to wake up, "Yuu, do you mean it? What you told Aidou?"

All I could do was nod, my body too overcome with joy to find my feelings returned. But I was upset that Hanabusa had told him instead of me!

"Yuu, I've thought about this all night, and I know this is sudden, but I really do care about you. Yuu, would you become my lover?" He held his hand out for me.

"Yes," I squeaked, moving down from the bed to the floor at his side and taking his hand, "Yes,"

I smiled as he pulled me into his arms like he did yesterday. I was so happy, being in love. I felt as if nothing bad could ever happen to me again, not as long as Akatsuki was by my side.

* * *

Wow, it's almost been a year since I last posted a chapter? Damn, am I sorry! I've had this written the whole time, but I just haven't been in the mood to post any of it. I'm really sorry!

UPDATE: I didn't like this chapter, so I added more to it! Meaning the pace of their relationship. Hopefully I fixed it...?


	4. Starting A New Life Together

I am blessed enough to be in requited love for the second time in my life! Again the man who holds my heart is a vampire, beasts that I hunt down and kill for a living, but doesn't matter to me in the slightest. It is true that I was brutally betrayed by my first love, a born vampire named Kain Akatsuki, but I've grown since then. But because of the pain his sudden betrayal, I held an intense fear of abandonment that was mistaken for a blatant distrust of vampires. I'm not entirely sure that I'm healed enough yet to trust my heart fully to anyone, but I know that with patience, I am able to give it to another. With the help of my hero and family friend, I realized the truth of my aversion and I am ready to take a chance on love again with my partner, human born Kiryuu Zero.

"Zero!" I ran excitedly from my room, shouting at the top of my lungs for the vampire that gave me his word he'd be waiting for me.

"Yuu?" He peeked up at me from the couch in the sitting room. He was careful to stay low enough so that we could barely see each other.

"Zero..." I froze in place, suddenly shaking like a weeping willow in a tornado.

I... I couldn't face him... After all of this, I still can't face him...

Why? Why can't I move? Why can't I look at him...?

Zero... Why can't I do anything?

He frowned, knowing me well enough to know that it was still too soon for me to look at him. I could see the pain in the eyes that couldn't be blinked away. Those eyes still held such anguish... Zero...!

He shifted his position uneasily, unsure of how to react, "Yuu, you're not ready for this."

I struggled against the darkness that pinned me from my own outer light...From Zero... I wasn't sure if it was enough, but I managed to move my head to disagree. It couldn't end like this, "Zero-"

He cut me off, "Don't push yourself, Yuu."

I shook my head again and took a deep breath, breathing slowly until I had control of my body once again. I ambled over to the couch, each step a thousand times farther and more painful than the last. I know what I had to do before I even sat down. I really didn't want to, but I knew that now was the time to do it if it was ever to work. If I really loved him and wanted to be by his side, I had to tell him everything...

"When I told you that I loved you, I meant it," Having said that, I sat a mile away from him, my eyes focused on the ground, and my arms crossed around my knees. I was not eager to share my past, even with him, "Zero, before we say anymore about what recently occurred, you should know about my past,"

"Yuu," He knew that even though I'm an open person, I would rarely mention certain things about my past. No, that's not true. I never spoke of my past, even to Shishou.

"So, you know that I was in love once before?" I looked sideways at him, worried about how he would take the news.

He looked inwards, thinking of something in his own past, "We're old enough to have loved another in the past."

I nodded in agreement, "Well, he was a vampire too. We met late one night on a mission, and he saved my life. It shocked us both a great deal, I could tell. Anyways, he let me stay with him while I searched for my target. And surprise, surprise, we ended up growing close in a very short amount of time. Though it was frowned upon, we became lovers. It was great while it lasted, but in my time with him, I forgot who my target was, and the Association needed results."

"I know what they're like," He gave an involuntary shudder.

"Well, I was torn, wanting my first mission to end as a success so I could win my father's approval, but at the same time, I refused to harm my lover. I tried to postpone my deadline as long as I could so I could figure out what I wanted to do, but it was slowly killing me. I was dying from the stress of my position. Well, the night I had made up my mind, I went to tell him first, but he told me it was over between us, saying he had just been playing a game with me. It broke my heart, but I still refused to kill him at the time. After a while, I went back to find him to see if he was making it up that night, but he made it clear to me that he wasn't, and ever since, I have wanted nothing more than his death," I don't know when, but I started to cry during my tale.

"Kuran Kaname," Zero assumed he was my lover because of how much I wanted to kill him and his 'family'.

"No, Akatsuki. Kain Akatsuki," I said his name with as much spite as was possible.

"Then why kill everyone else?" He was confused by my logic. Or rather, my lack of logic.

"The old me would have said it was because they were vampires. The truth is that I once made a promise that I wouldn't harm him or his cousin. However, after what he did to me, I swore that I would kill him and anyone remotely close to him," I calmed down, a flash of venom in my mouth.

He nodded, "Yuu, if you were with a vampire before, why were you so afraid of me?"

"I was afraid... I was afraid that you would hurt me like he hurt me, but because of how my mother died, it morphed from a simple commitment issue into a fear of vampires at its surface," I explained, grateful for Cross Kaien making me realize it.

"So, you really did love him, didn't you?" Zero mused aloud, obviously a bit jealous.

"I won't lie to you, I did love him, once, very much. In fact, if things hadn't been the way they were, I would probably be married to him right now... But, I'm glad it happened this way," I smiled shyly, stealing a glance at Zero.

"Why?" Zero's inferiority complex came out in full force again.

"Because I didn't love him the way I thought I did! When we met, I found something true," I turned on my knees and practically climbed on top of him, "You are it for me. I love you Zero, I love you! I thought that I really had the true 'spend forever together' kind of love with him, but as I got to know you, possibly before, I came to find that truth is I only had a teenager's infatuation with him,"

"You seem that you would chose him if you could," He scoffed at me, jaded by his own love interest.

That grilled me, so I rounded in on him, "Zero, just because that girl chose that other guy over you doesn't mean that your unfit for love! I know it must be upsetting for you, knowing my past, but none of that matters to me anymore! I love you, and only you!"

"Yuu, you're too excited," He tried to push me back, but I wouldn't budge.

"Zero, what are you saying? You tell me that you care about me, but you're doing this? Are you really so down on yourself that you push me away when you want me the most? You're trying to protect me from yourself? Is that it? Well stop it! I know the risks in being with you, but I know that the reward is more than worth it. I just wish you'd see that for yourself," I pointed it out to him, doing my best to keep from beating some sense into him.

He was silent for a moment, mulling things over. I sat back and watched him like a barely breathing hawk, patiently waiting for him to come to his senses. Zero began to get up to leave, but I wrapped my arms around his back to prevent that. I shook my head, needing a resolution now. He sighed and looked back at me from over his shoulder, semi-grateful for my actions and persistence. After what felt like eons, he faced me completely, his answer found.

"I do hide behind any excuse I can to protect those closest to me. I do love you, and I want to be there for you, but I'm so worried that I'll hurt you. A part of me doesn't even want to try, because the thought of losing you is too much to bear," He frowned, looking at me for forgiveness.

"Zero, this won't be easy for either of us, I can promise you that much, but as long as we fight, it will all work out at the end of the day, I know it," I smiled, "Because I know that I can trust you,"

Zero smiled, sitting by my side, "From now on, we'll have each other to share our pain with, to bear our burdens with, and to laugh with. It's us against the world now," He grabbed my hand in his, "But I have faith in us,"

"You should," I kissed his hand, "Because trust is all we can have in life."

_...Later that night..._

Kaien surprised up and already made us dinner when we sat at the table; vegetable stew with sliced fruits and green tea. He was still in his apron and Zero and I were in our pajamas. We had spent the rest of the day, which there wasn't a whole lot left after our conversation, in his room, merely enjoying each other's company and speaking a bit of this and that. My room was too messy as I hadn't cleaned it in my depression. I had the sneaking suspicion that Kaien had been watching us from inside the school. I bet Zero noticed the same fly on the wall as I did.

"You two seem closer," Kaien commented at the dinner table, 'cutely' attempting to force a confession from either of us.

I laughed, leaving no clues in my wake, holding Zero's hand on top of the table so he could suffer from not knowing, "Really? I have no idea why,"

Zero rolled his eyes at my childishness like always, though a tiny little smile was on his lips, "Idiots,"

Kaien looked between us, his hands laced under his chin and the look a principal gives a student when they want to lecture them on his face, "Yuu, you wouldn't hide something like this would you? And Zero, I know you wouldn't lie to daddy!"

"You're not my father," He gave Kaien the cold shoulder as he aslways did.

Of course I took pity on my second father, "Don't mind him, Zero. He's just being himself,"

"Yuu! You're such a great girl!" He beamed at me as he clasped both my hands, stealing one from his 'son'.

"Thank you. Well, if you don't mind, I haven't taken a shower today, so I think I'm gonna go now," I got up and walked toward the bathroom before turning around quickly, "Don't follow me! I'm a girl of some principals, ok buddy?"

Kaien looked at Zero, "Did I miss something?"

Zero shook his head discreetly, "Not really,"

_More than a few weeks later..._

"Hey, Zero?" I clutched my pillow to my mouth for dear life, positive that he would still hear me just fine.

"Hmm?" He absently sniffed my hair, still damp from my bath.

"Are you happy being here with me? I know you said it weeks ago, but I can't help but wonder if you meant it. About Yuuki," I looked over my shoulder at him with wide eyes.

"Yuu, even though you won't see it, you'll always care for Akatsuki. It's the same for me and Yuuki, but even if we had a chance, I wouldn't take it, because I love you," He kissed my cheek.

"Say we temporarily broke-up, would you take her back then?" I had to know, because it had been eating at me for a few days now.

"No, she's a monster now," He shook his head with finality.

"What if I was a monster? Would you hate me then too?" I trembled sadly.

He sat up so he could look me completely in the eyes, "It's a whole different situation. Yuuki was really a vampire the entire time, and she never loved me like that, you do. I don't know everything you've been through in your life, but I know that you can understand me, she never could. Yuu, it is true there are similarities between the both of you and the situations are vaugely alike, but you, not Yuuki, are the most important thing to me,"

I smiled in spite of my selfpity, "Really?"

He nodded. My Zero, he could be so verbal sometimes - But he was lucky that he was right about me being able to read him.

"Zero, that's either the corniest thing I've ever heard or the sweetest," I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, pulling him back down on the bed with me.

"Oi, are you two ready yet?" Kaien knocked on the door impatiently, ruining yet another perfect moment.

I swear, Zero and I will never be able to make love as long as Kaien or my father are around! I could kiss them.

We laughed, loving this chance to frazzle our "boss". Kaien was really losing it today, but Zero and I assumed it was because he was host a gala to encourage human-vampire cooperation. Yes, Kaien's dream was not yet dead!

"Dammit, I'm trusting you both to help," He knocked on the door again.

Zero left my side and opened the door with a hasty jerk, "Maybe if we didn't have to interact with _them_ all the time,"

"Hey, it's not so bad. We get to go in together, so that eases things a bit," I walked up behind him and put my hand reassuringly on his back.

He looked back at me acidly, "Sure, take his point of view, leech lover,"

I huffed my cheeks, "At least I'm not the one who pretends to be something I'm not,"

"You really wanna go down that road?" His eyes flashed dangerously.

I rolled my eyes at his melodrama, "I mean that even though you act all bad, you're sweet,"

He sighed, "Of course that's what you meant,"

Kaien looked between us in surprise, "Are you two fighting?"

We looked at him in shock, "Of course not,"

"You don't have to pretend for my sake!" Kaien exclaimed, dramatically grabbing onto my arm and dragging me from my boyfriend.

I looked at Zero for help and patted Kaien's arm sympathetically when I saw that it was a lost cause, "We'll see you later,"

He waved, closing the door behind us, whispering in my ear, "Just wait a little."

I wanted to ask what he was planing, but I was ushered away to Kaien's office. He walked to look out the window before he spoke to me again, a grave look on his face. Not a comical one as he usually wore, but a genuinely frightened look. I rushed to his side and wrapped my arm around his like a little girl would and rested my head on his shoulder. After all, I was like his daughter...

"Yuu, do you still plan on killing him?" He glanced down at me, "Please, tell me the truth."

I didn't need to ask who he was speaking of, "It is my life's goal to see that man dead."

"Would you kill him, even if I asked you not to?" He was beginning to startle me by his questions.

"If you sincerely mean it, I might try to hold off for your sake," My eyes fell to my feet at once, "Oh, so that's why you brought me here, isn't it?"

He nodded, "Zero already knows. I spoke to him while you were in the bath."

I nodded, choking back hot tears, "You really want me to do this for you? You know how I feel!"

"Not just for him," A voice echoed from the doorway.

I didn't need to look to know who was speaking, "You're in on this too, Shisho?"

My father entered the room, shaking his head, "Not exactly. It's my idiot apprentice. He couldn't ask you this himself because he doesn't want to hurt you-"

"Yuuki. He doesn't want me to hurt Yuuki. That's it, isn't it?" I felt my tears freeze on my face, "Isn't it?"

They sighed, "Yuu-"

"No," I stood under the light, "If it's for Zero, I won't touch them. But if _anything_, and I mean _anything_, untoward occurs, I won't hold back for anyone."

I promised them that. I wouldn't lay a hand on anyone in the Kuran family's inner circle, unless I was provoked...

* * *

Alright, this took forever to come out, but not as long as the last time. I think. This underwent a few changes, but not too many. I was thinking about making the gala into a new school (like college), but I decided against it. I think it'd be way beyond my skill, so I'm gonna hold off on doing a school story. Oh, and Zero told Yuu that he still might have a thing for for Yuuki when they first got together, but I decided to hold off that little sub-plot.


	5. Forgive and Forget

After promising two of three most important people in my life that I would behave myself at the gala, I retreated to my room to change. Recalling the last ball with horror, I shuddered at the thought of all that primping. But I guess that it was worth it in the end, so I might as well just go all out. Its not like Zero will see me like this too often... Might as well give him a small treat. Hm, Zero. I can't believe everything that's happened, leading up to this point.

"Knock, knock," Kaien came in, "Pardon the intrusion, but I just wanted to thank you, for doing this for me."

I smiled at him, "I never said that I would do anything... I only promised that I would try."

"I remember when you came here... How bitter you were. But for you to stay your hand, even temporarily... You've grown since then." He patted my head, frowning at the blandness of my appearance, "Heavens, we have some work to do!"

I grabbed his hand in a daughterly gesture, "Thank you."

He nodded, knowing just how much I put into that simple thank-you.

_Kain_

I looked at the mirror, wondering just how much Yuu had changed. The upcoming Gala was the first time I would see her since I had broken her heart, so I was more than a little afraid to see her now. Would she be happy? Would she be alone? Has she moved on? Will I have to watch her in the arms of another?

Plagued by my head, I took out the box from my pocket and looked at it for reassurance. No matter what happens, this nights must end no different than the last night. She would still hate him, and he would welcome her hatred, so long as she was safe.

"If you really love that girl, you should let nothing stand in your way. The ancients are nothing but a pack of sniveling dogs whose bark is worse than their bite." Kaname stood in the doorway of my room, a formal expression of understanding on his face.

I had thought of defying them a hundred times, but for every thought I had of doing so, it lead me to nightmares of a million fates worse than death, "She's better off hating me."

"Is she?" He didn't sound convinced, "There was a time when I was in a place similar to yours, but I refused to let Yuuki go."

It was extremely uncharacteristic for me to question Kaname-sama, but at this moment in time, I wasn't myself, "Why are you saying all of this now?"

He looked at me, his eyes staring through my very core, "Because I know that that girl will be at Cross's gala, and I know that you have suffered every single waking moment ever since she has left your life."

_Zero_

Yuuki... and Yuu. They're both going to be at the gala, looking their absolute best. They'll both be smiling radiantly, happy escorted around the room. And they will both be facing someone they left behind. Yuuki will have to look at me, look at me and see that I have moved on, and Yuu will come face-to-face with the vampire that broke her heart. I tried my hardest not to think of Yuuki, but as the day wore on, it became increasingly impossible. It was the Midnight hour, and someone's fairytale would be ending very soon...

_...later that night..._

Things had been chaotic all day, people running back and forth without their heads, but I was right, in the end, everything was worth it. My skin had been shined with silver, my hair twisted into a bun that spilled curls of white and red ribbons, and my body was tastefully draped in silk. My dress was dark red, almost the color of blood regrettably, a black sash tying around my waist to follow me on the floor. I wore a jacket of white lace, a dainty bow knotting it closed just under my collarbone. I wore a thick, coal choker_, _two tails falling down my back. Zero was in his uniform_. Again. _But he looked great, and it complimented my dress, or was it that my dress complimented his outfit? Either way, we looked good together.

"Are you ready?" Zero holstered his anti-vampire gun in his jacket.

I pulled my dress up nearly to my hip, showing him a mini-armory, "For anything."

Oh, what I fool I was...

_Kain_

The car pulled up to the old Academy, everyone pouring out before the pure bloods. I got out next-to-last, looking at the school without a flicker of emotion. I really had no thoughts to spare on my days at the Academy, but I masked my face before I could see the only thing that would give me pause. If I saw her... I don't have a clue as to how I would react. Looking at the front gates, I saw Kaien Cross greeting his guests, Zero glaring at the guests, and by his side was... Yuu? It was definitely her, every fiber of his being knowing her instantly, his hearing attuned to the rhythm of her heart. She was smiling, her arm locked with Zero's, and she looked radiant, more than the make-up and gown. It came from within.

She saw me as we reached the vampire hunters, I know she did. Maybe it was for reassurance, or perhaps it was to show me that she had moved on, but whatever reasons she had, she took Zero by the neck, kissing him deeply, passionately, slowly. Kaien scolded her, but she ignored him, losing herself in his lips.

_Zero_

It was aggravating enough to attend the damn gala, but to actually be made to greet every guest as they arrived... But I don't know why I was complaining, becuase no one knew what would happen when Yuu saw Akatsuki... I know I certainly wasn't expecting it.

I saw their car pull up, knowing that it was them by the sheer size of their vehicle. Stepping out form the limousine, Akatsuki looked right at us, no doubt recognizing Yuu. She saw him, and the minute she did, she pulled me into a kiss that was unlike any we've had before. It was rough, and wild, and dangerous. I heard someone telling us to stop, but all I could notice was Yuu... She was shaking ever so slightly, her body tense, and her eyes were misted over when we pulled back at last. Looking at Kuran and his 'family', she ran off. I went to go after her, but Yuuki was shaking her head.

"This isn't a problem for you to solve." She spoke coldly, but he had to agree with her, this was Yuu's problem that she had to solve alone, or at the very worst, with Akatsuki.

_Yuu_

Greeting people certainly wasn't a calling pf mine, but I'd do it again as a favor for a friend. I'd do a number things for a friend, as exemplified by my every action tonight. Or maybe I'd only do these stupid things for Kaien? Speaking of friends and reactions, I saw I was about to be tested when an unmistakeable shock of orange hair stepped from the last limo. So, he had come at last, that heartbreaking bastard! I was going to act like I hadn't seen him, but I noticed that my entire body was shaking when he looked at me. Furious, I acted on impulse and grabbed Zero, desperately kissing him like I've never kissed anyone before. I could hear and see everybody watching us, but I didn't care, becuase I was too focused on the vampire who had broken my heart... Oh, God! I was focused on _him_! Frightened by what that could possibly mean, I bolted.

Stopping near the dormitory, I slid down the wall in a wave of tears, my lace snagging in a million places. What happened back there? Why did I kiss Zero like that? And what was even worse, why was the kiss so terrible? But I knew the answer to that even before I asked myself those questions - I was still hung up on him. Even after all this time, I was still in love with Kain Akatsuki.

Sliding through the shadows, I could sense another presence besides my own, and what was more, I knew it wasn't human, "Just show yourself."

Akatsuki walked into the light, looking down at me, "Yuu..."

I looked away stubbornly, knowing full well that the only way to resolve this by talking to him, "Are you going to join me or not?'

He sat beside me, looking up, "I wouldn't blame you for killing me."

I sighed, looking at him at last, noticing how miserable he looked, "I'm not going to kill you. I made a promise."

"Still," He looked at me, blood-tinged tears falling slowly down his cheek, "You would be more than justified after what I did to you."

Yes, I would be justified in killing him on the spot, and after all these years harboring the hatred and pain, I doubt that anyone would blame me if I did kill him, "Shut up. I'm not going to kill you. I can't."

I knew him well enough to know that he was intrigued by my answer, but I also knew that he wouldn't ask me what I meant, "You looked happy."

"I was... Until you." I wasn't sure if I meant when he came back into my life, or I meant when we met, "I loved you. Do you hear me, I loved you! But then you broke my heart. All these years later, I thought that I had moved on, but the minute I saw you... I knew that everything has just been one, gigantic lie! I never moved on, that's why I spent these last few years hunting you... I wanted to kill you, you and everyone close to you, but the second I saw you, I realized that I was completely incapable of doing it. After all this, I still love you..."

He lifted my chin so I couldn't hide my tears, "Yuu, I never wanted to hut you... The only reason I did what I did was to protect you. I thought that if I stayed with you, they would try to hurt you, and I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to you... I made you leave becuase I knew that if you were with your kind, you would be better protected."

"So you hurt me in the worst possible way? The only thing that might come close to the pain you made me feel is the pain of losing you to death, and even that would have been better than this! The thought of you being alive, choosing to leave me, that's my one fate worse than death." I leered at him, thinking of Zero, "You have hurt me, and whats worse, I had to hurt someone else to realize all of this."

"If I could take it all back, I would. But I can't, and that kills me more than anything else in this world. I've spent every minute of every day thinking of you; what we've done together, what I wanted us to do, and what I did. I was an idiot, and I haven't been able to forget a minute," He took a small box from his pocket, never once without it, "I wanted to give this to you, but instead, I - "

"Is that what I think it is?" I took the box from him, gazing at it in wonderful horror, snapping it open almost by accident.

Inside was the most beautiful band, and he took it out, handing it to me so I could get a better look at what was written inside as he recited it to me, word for word, "Nothing could make me live but you."

"You said that to me the night we went walking in the park. We were standing on the bridge, watching the sakura float downstream, and you took my hand, and you told me that I was kept you alive all this time. 'Nothing could make me live but you.'" I recalled the night perfectly, the feeling of the breeze blowing, the aroma of sakura almost overbearing on the water.

He gazed at the box on my lap, "I had that box with me the night I killed our dream. It's been in my pocket ever since."

I put the ring back in the box, closing it, "Our dream was a sweet one, the reality a crushing reminder that it all had actually happened."

"I know its too late now, but I want to apologize for what I've done to you... I was so afraid that you would forgive me, I couldn't bring myself to see you." Akatsuki wasn't being arrogant when he said that, I could tell.

"You really wanted me to hate you?" I laughed bitterly, "Well sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't. I want to, believe me, nothing would make me happier than to despise you, but I can't."

"Then what do we do?" He always could look at the bigger picture, even in the worst of times.

"Honestly?" I handed him the box back, "You can apologize properly."

He smiled in spite of himself, "I'm sorry that I hurt you the way I did, and I'm sorry that it took so long to apologize. I'm sorry that I was an idiot, and most importantly, I'm sorry I let you go."

"And I'm sorry that I kissed Zero in front of you. And that I let you push me away. But more than anything, I'm sorry that I forgive you..." I rethought that last one, "Well, someday."

He looked at me as if I had stuck him down, "No, don't forgive me - "

"Stop it! Stop with your self-sacrificial words!" I smacked him, leaving a glowing pink hand print, "You have no right to go play the hero!"

He held his cheek, "God, that _is_ what I've been doing, isn't it?"

I nodded curtly, "Yes!"

"Yuu!" It was Zero, calling my name blindly.

I looked at Akatsuki, grabbing his arm, "Wait."

He shook his head, "This is between the both of you. But we'll finish this, I promise."

He was gone, back in the shadows before I could object. But there really was nothing to object to, becuase he was right. I had to set things right with Zero... Zero, whom I loved from the bottom of my heart, was unfortunately not the one for me. No matter how many good things I can say about him, and how much I love him, it isn't enough for what I must do to him.

"Zero," I wavered him over to me, "I'm glad that you're here - "

He shook his head, "Yuu, you don't have to say anything. I saw the way you looked at him tonight. Even that kiss told me what you really want."

"Then why are you here?" I was shocked that he had already seemed to come to terms with our break-up.

"You've been gone for a long time," He sounded like a a worried older brother, checking on his little sister to make sure that she hadn't entertained her male guest yet.

I smiled, "I haven't killed anyone, so you don't have to worry about that."

He nodded, "Have you spoken with him yet?"

I stared at the shadows behind him, "A bit. We're still working things out."

"Maybe you can still have the future you envisioned," He turned and looked into the shadows before departing, "You deserve it, Yuu."

Akatsuki materialized from the darkness almost behind me, laughing at what he had overheard, "And what future is that?"

I blushed, glaring at Zero's retreating figure, "I once told him that I thought we'd be married by now, if things had worked."

"Well, you weren't wrong about that," He held out his hand for mine, pulling my back free from the wall, "Come with me."

I followed him back into the courtyard, vampires doting the area here and there, and he stopped me in the middle of the grounds, "Yuu, I know that it will take time to rebuild what we had before, but I want you to know that I plan on waiting for you, even if it takes until the end of time.

"What are you doing?" I hissed as a crowd began to gather around us in curiosity.

He bent down on one knee, pulling the box out from his pocket, "Yagari Yuu, even if takes forever to earn your forgiveness, I want spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

I was speechless, seeing Kaien _and_ my father watching from a distance, the ex-hunter nodding his head yes enthusiastically, "Say yes!"

I took a deep breath, "You broke my heart, and now you come here asking me something like that in front of all these people?"

"Yes," He nodded, "I'm not asking for us to get married right this minute, I only want you to entertain the idea."

"You moron!" I shook my head in frustration, "I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you the minute we fell in love! I don't care if it happens tomorrow or a hundred years from now, but I will marry you."

Shisho glanced at his friend, "That sounds like what her mother said to me."

_... Some Time Waaay into the Future..._

Well, it didn't take a hundred years. Akatsuki and I married a few years after he proposed at the Gala, and shortly after our honeymoon, I gave birth our first child, a son named Kentaro. I was no longer a hunter, Kaname turning me into a vampire as a wedding gift. Zero and I are still friends, though I don't think his wife thinks much our friendship, or of me. I don't care for her, but we remain civil.

"So, what are you thinking of naming the child?" Zero asked as he handed me the baby blanket he had bought, annoyed that he had been dragged to my baby shower.

I looked at my husband, stifling a laugh as our oldest daughter drew on him with a washable marker, "Setsuna, stop drawing on daddy. Well, I was thinking something simple, like Toshiro, but of course he disagrees and wants to name our son Tsubasa."

"_Another_ boy?" Kaien looked at me in amazement, "But this will be your third son, won't it?"

I nodded, "I was kinda hoping for another daughter so Setsuna won't be the only girl anymore... Well, we'll just have to keep trying, won't we?"

Akatsuki picked up our current youngest, Hinata, and put him in his lap, "Hinata does want a little sister, doesn't he?"

The child ignored his father, playing with the teddy bear he had been given last year for his birthday, "Down."

I smiled, standing up precariously, "Pardon me, I have to use the bathroom."

_Kain_

I watched my wife like a hawk as she maneuvered flawlessly through the room. Even though she was a vampire now, I watched over her as if she were made of glass that would break at just the slightest disturbance.

"Forgive me for asking, but doesn't she miss her old life?" Kaien watched her retreat as well, still fascinated to see a pregnant vampire.

I smiled, "I thought that she might go crazy when we had Kentaro, but she really is a great mother."

"Vampire hunters can be mothers too," Zero thought of his own mother.

I shook my head, "I'm sure that they do, but that's not what I mean. She just lights up when ever she's around the kids... It's almost as if this is what she was meant to do."

"Mother's really are something amazing..." Kaien thought of Juuri, "Speaking of which, where are Kaname and Yuuki?"

"Kaname really wanted to come, but something came up. In fact, I'll probably have to join them soon - "

"And miss you're wife's baby shower?" Kaname walked into the room, greeting everyone with a smile, Yuuki silent by his side.

"Yuuki!" Kentaro ran up to the pure blood, grabbing the hem of her skirt.

She smiled at him, picking him up as the others filed in behind, "Kenta-kun!"

"Did you ever imagine this?" Yuu had returned from the bathroom, slipping her hand in mine.

I squeezed her hand, "Never."

* * *

Ok, so I had a much better, longer story in mind (not planned), but as that clearly isn't happening any time soon... Not to mention the fact that I wanted Yuu with Zero in the end... What can I say, I also really loved her with Akatsuki, and I only wanted her with Zero becuase I didn't want him to be lonely anymore... Poor Zero! And the formatting might have changed as well... And I may be wrong, but it seems to me like vampires in Vampire knight can reproduce, so... Yeah. Well, regardless of everything, unfortunately, this is the end.


End file.
